


What Brought Back the Cat

by misura



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Community: gotkink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 06:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20652983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "Well, let's have it, then," Bronn said, trying to sound like he asked people to show him their dicks all the time.





	What Brought Back the Cat

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: _I think Bronn wants to be more intimately acquainted with Pod's magical dick._

"Well, let's have it, then," Bronn said, trying to sound like he asked people to show him their dicks all the time.

Up until now, Bronn had thought of himself as more of an ass-and-tits sort of man. A regular guy, not that you'd be able to tell it by the company he'd been keeping recently. Not a lot of regular folks around when it came to the Lannisters and their ilk.

This whole thing with Pod though - well, a man could look, couldn't he? Had to, almost, when you were dealing with the sort of magical dick that made whores return the money you'd paid them.

Pod honest-to-the-Seven blushed, like he still was some sort of virgin. "I'm not sure - " he said.

"Well, I am," Bronn said, determined to nip this sudden show of assertiveness in the bud. "Go on, out with it. Let's have ourselves a look."

Pod hemmed and hawed a bit before he gave in like a good little squire - or a good, not-so-little squire, Bronn amended.

Of course, size wasn't everything. Just look at that brute they called the Mountain. Big, sure, but Bronn bet someone lean and quick would be able to take him down just fine, provided they were smart about it and didn't play by the rules too much. That way, crushing defeat lay - literal, in this case.

Pod licked his lips. "So can I - " One of his hands was already reaching, and Bronn suddenly realized he could picture Pod - well. Polishing the pole. Spanking the one-eyed serpent. Giving himself a helping hand. That sort of thing.

"I dunno, can you?" Bronn said. His own lips felt a bit dry as well. He wondered what it would be like to have something like Pod's dick in his mouth. Women liked doing that sort of thing, supposedly, though Bronn suspected it was more a matter of them liking it better than having you get off the other way.

He'd never gone and _asked_, of course, on account of not being an idiot. He paid them, they gave him what he wanted. A nice, clean business arrangement. No need to get all personal.

Pod stared at him. His expression was beginning to shift from embarrassment to annoyance.

"If that was all," he said, beginning to pull up his trousers.

"So can I touch it?" Bronn's mouth asked, before the rest of him could stop him.

Pod's eyes went wide. He'd spent the night with some of King's Landing's finest, so Bronn didn't have any illusions about living up to that example, but then, unless he'd missed something, they'd all been women, and when it came to dicks - well, men simply had a natural advantage in that area, was all.

It stood to reason, didn't it? They'd been born with one, too. They'd had lots of practice with it, lots of experience. Lots of time to figure out what worked, with the advantage that if it did, they got to enjoy it themselves. A woman - best she could hope for was a good tip. Fat lot of good that was going to do her on a cold night, lying in bed all by herself.

"I don't think - " Pod said.

"Good. Don't start now," Bronn said. "Times like these, thinking's over-rated." It felt odder than he'd expected, holding another man's dick in his hand. "Other times, now, I can very much recommend it. Thinking, that is. You think your cards right, it's going to keep you alive. Might even make you rich."

"Like you?" Pod asked, somehow sounding like a breathless wanton and a judgmental prick at the same time, which was some accomplishment.

Bronn experimented a bit. His instincts were all messed up though, with Pod's dick being Pod's dick, as opposed to his own. "I'm alive, aren't I? And plenty rich for me. See, the more money you've got, the more trouble you'll get into thanks to people poorer than you are. Staying modest, that's the key. Not biting off more than you can chew."

"Don't you want me to - ?" Pod made a vague gesture.

Bronn chuckled. "Bless your little heart. Nah. Later perhaps. Or you could suck me off, if that's your style. Might not say no to a trip around the back, though that's not for everyone."

"I don't know what that means," Pod said, which Bronn supposed meant he hadn't let the ladies lord it over him for a bit, so to speak. "Can I have my - you're not very good at this, are you?"

"Hey now. Been doing this a lot longer than you have, I can tell you that much," Bronn said. "Just trying to find my feet, is all."

"Down there on the ground," Pod said, which was some bloody cheek, but then Bronn finally got a proper grip and Pod gasped in a way that made Bronn feel lots better, and Pod, too, he supposed.

"See? Now we're getting somewhere." Forget feeling better: Bronn realized he was beginning to enjoy himself, enjoy the way Pod writhed and panted and moaned, all because of what he, Bronn, was doing. Sure, Pod's dick might be some sort of magic, but that didn't mean Bronn couldn't pull one over on him.

Inasfar as that was what was happening here. Bronn frowned, not sure if he wanted to chase that thought. He'd wanted a look at Pod's cock, and he'd gotten it. He'd wanted _more_, and now he was getting that. There were no losers here, unless you counted Pod - who was about to spill his seed all over Bronn's hands, and if that was losing, well, then who wanted to win?

Pod shuddered one last time before he was done. No stamina, Bronn noted, which felt fair and therefore a bit unexpected, given how few things in this world were.

He looked at his hands, waiting for the moment when the glow of having gotten Pod off would be replaced by the realization that he needed to wash his hands, the sooner, the better, because there was 'not being afraid to get your hands dirty' and then there was _this_.

Instead, Pod started breathing normally again and grabbed one of Bronn's hands and licked it, like a kitten or someone Bronn had paid a stupid amount of money.

Bronn considered protesting, except that Pod might stop whatever he planned on doing if he did, and then what? He might miss out on the best sex of his life, that was what. So what if it involved Pod instead of the woman of his dreams? Pod was here right now, and willing. The woman of Bronn's dreams wasn't, in addition to which she almost certainly didn't exist, also unlike Pod, who did.

"So did you want me to - what was it again?" Pod's hands were only a little bit calloused, not like he'd done any proper work these past months, or ever. Nice and warm, almost like a woman's. "A trip around the back?"

Bronn hesitated. Getting Pod off had been fun, sure, but it wasn't as if he'd ended up wanting to pay Pod for the privilege or something. Plus, Bronn really wasn't that sort of guy.

"I don't think - " he said, aware of where Pod's hands were, and where they might very shortly cease to be if he phrased this a bit too rude and hurt Pod's sensitive feelings.

"Good," Pod said, moving rather more quickly than Bronn would have thought possible.

Bronn decided that what the hells, he only lived once, so he might as well get the full experience. At worst, he'd be an experience richer and not a coin poorer: you couldn't ask for more than that.

Except: "Oil, Pod. Lots and lots of oil. The oil is not optional."

"He beat you." Tyrion sat down with all the grace of a sack of grain. "Didn't he? Like a drum."

"Wasn't aware it was a competition," Bronn said, stretching his sore muscles a bit. "But if it was, pretty sure I won. Winning's the thing that's supposed to feel good, isn't it?"

"So people keep telling me," Tyrion said.

Bronn grinned at him a bit more, but then he decided to take mercy and went to pour Tyrion some wine before settling down to listen to Tyrion complain about his rich people problems.


End file.
